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Introduction to BDSM

BDSMBDSM is an acronym for Bondange, Discipline, Sadism & Masochism.

This is a sexual behavior that includes roleplaying or a lifestyle involving the use of force, pain and control together with submission and humiliation. BDSM has many types of expression, which reflect the taste and preference of those taking part.

The principal characteristic of all BDSM activity is the adoption of various, complementary roles during the activity, whereby usually one of the participants has the authority to be the dominant, while the other adopts the submissive role (or slave). BDSM activity is never abuse, as the adoption of the roles by each of the parties is always a conscious, willing and free choice, and each of the participants always retains the ability to terminate the activity.

BDSM

In order for any relationship to be considered a relationship of this kind it must include a conscious transfer of control from one party to the other, but it does not have to include all the secondary characteristics of this activity.

Those participating in BDSM activity come from all sexual genders and tendencies. As a result, BDSM groups were at the forefront of attempts to create common ground between heterosexuals and people from the LGBT community.

Control and safety rules

In BDSM activity there is a mutual consent as to the nature of the relationship, what it will include and what is the risk that the parties are willing to take during a BDSM game, known as a session. This also includes safety rules to guarantee the consent of the submissive party to acts carried out when he is playing the passive role or the “victim” during the session.

The partners define between them the nature of the relationship and the time period in which the control is transferred to the dominant. The control can be transferred for the duration of the session and returned to the submissive at the end of the game, or the submissive can transfer the authority over his or her life beyond the session, and in fact it can include his or her entire daily routine. Such a relationship is known as 24/7, that is, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

In order to avoid unwanted or hurtful acts to one of the parties, the partners define the boundaries of the relationship in advance. In addition to these boundaries, a safeword is chosen for the purpose of clear communication outside the BDSM context, in order to stop the session. The safeword is a word the partners do not use during the regular course of the session, and thus they can use words that express objection (such as “No” and “Enough”) without worrying about ending the activity and still ask to stop the session immediately if necessary in a clear and unequivocal manner.

When a mouth muzzle is used, an agreed signal replaces the safeword (for example, stamping on the floor).

Switching roles

BDSM can include switching roles, that is, during part of the session one party is the dominant, and during another part they switch, and the submissive party becomes the dominant. A person who changes his BDSM identity is known as a switch. Switching does not have to be performed in the same session, and a person can be the submissive in one session and the dominant in another session. It is also possible that a person plays the dominant role with one partner and the submissive role with another partner in a single session.

The physiology of BDSM

Physically, some BDSM activities could involve inflicting pain, without causing physical injury. Such activities release endorphins. This feeling is related to what those engaging in BDSM describe as subspace and domspace, and some find it pleasurable. The attempt to achieve this feeling is, for some, the incentive to engage in this activity, but it is not the only incentive. Some people engage in the activity to satisfy a psychological need, without any component of physical pleasure, while others report feelings of subspace/domspace even without activities that involve pain, as a result of total release.

Polyamory and BDSM

The ability to love more than one person is not related to BDSM, but as most polyamorists have come to polyamory as a result of having the confidence to explore new things in their relationships and sex lives, so many of them have tried BDSM out of curiosity.

In my opinion there is no necessary connection between them. You can be polyamorous without deriving pleasure from tying your partner to the bed; however, BDSM is such a wide field that if you are sufficiently curious and self-confident you will certainly find a certain niche that will give you satisfaction and pleasure.

A fundamental advantage polyamorists have over monogamists that engage in BDSM is that they can find secondary partners for BDSM activity if it is not acceptable to their primary partner and vice versa.

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Tany
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Pleased to meet you! I created this site in order to encourage people to try polyamorous relationships and bring them together. My articles are written with an experience of over twenty years in various polyamorous relationships. I share with you my experience and insight through the numerous relationships I’ve had in the hope you’ll find answers to your questions from someone living a free life. (read more).

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1 Comment on "Introduction to BDSM"

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Florida Girl
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What a very direct and short way to outline BDSM…very nice!

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