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Monogamy, polyamory, and STDs

Monogamy, polyamory, and STDs

Any sexual contact involves the risk of some type of infection. For this reason, in any sexual contact with a new person, condoms must be used, and this applies to everyone. It is not just the number of partners you sleep with that can increase the chance of infection, but also and mainly the risk group they belong to.

Because polyamorists have more than one partner, and their partners may have other partners, they need to be more cautious. Polyamory is not about one-night stands, however, but rather relationships based on mutual love, which take time to develop, so we are not talking dozens of new partners every year, but closer to two or three regular partners you know well.

If it seems that your relationship is becoming serious, simply get tested for STDs together. This is what grownups should do – openly discuss STDs and get tested if needed. When there is good, honest communication, the risk of infection is significantly lower, and even if one partner gets infected, the other will be supportive.

Monogamists have a false sense of security, thinking “It won’t happen to me; I have one partner who is faithful and therefore clean.” Yet their partner might not know he or she is infected and might infect them. Testing for STDs is necessary at the beginning of any relationship, but while polyamorists are aware of the possibility of infection and take precautions, monogamists live under an illusion. If and when their partner cheats on them (a 25-50 percent chance), he or she may bring to bed pubic lice, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis, herpes, HIV, etc.

Polyamorists have installed an antivirus that runs in the background.
Monogamists have uninstalled it on their wedding day.

Good sex is vital for a healthy body and a healthy mind. With awareness, open communication, and condoms, you can have fun together without fear of STDs.

If you haven’t got tested in the past year, please do a thorough check for venereal diseases. This applies to both monogamous and non-monogamous people.

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Pleased to meet you! I created this site in order to encourage people to try polyamorous relationships and bring them together. My articles are written with an experience of over twenty years in various polyamorous relationships. I share with you my experience and insight through the numerous relationships I’ve had in the hope you’ll find answers to your questions from someone living a free life. (read more).

5 Comments on "Monogamy, polyamory, and STDs"

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Just FYI…getting tested every year is very important but you should tell your doctor you want to be tested for herpes as well…most doctors do not check unless asked…and even if you aren’t changing partners you could be a carrier of something not showing any signs. If you know what you have you can get it treated or controlled and learn how to not pass it on. STD’s are danergous but not being responsible is more dangerous.

Jim BrierWolf

read it, know it, take it to heart.


I couldn’t agree more

Angus Laird

Very well said! This is such an important part of the foundations for great loving relationships. Thank you for sharing this.

Maria Lind

Thank you for writing about an important subject ??

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