We got married!

Real life after marriage.

Look closely at this line, on your mobile phone or computer screen. Can you see the pixels? Pixels used to be larger and easily visible. It’s amazing how much technology has advanced over the past few centuries, especially in recent decades. Technologically speaking, we have definitely surpassed God’s power and intelligence. Legally speaking, we are even more moral than He is: we hold that all human beings have natural rights that nobody can take away from them. God has never had our best interest in mind, only His. That’s inspiring ?

We’ve defeated God, but we’ve lost in love!

Despite all our technological, social, and legal progress, our love is still stuck in the Middle Ages with the same monogamous relationship forcefully imposed by priests thousands of years ago and warmly embraced by the modern state.

Why do I say this? Consider the kind of life young people are offered in our society: someday you will meet the knight in shining armor or Princess Jasmine with her whimsical smile, and it will be the greatest love of your life. The day comes when the knight and the princess meet and fall in love. They match intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. Their families applaud, the dogs wag their tails, and the cats meow; the dream comes true, and they get married.

This superb period, which lasts two to twelve months, is seen as the pinnacle of happiness and success and is a euphoric time for the newly married couple. As numerous novels, songs, and films hammer into us, love is great, and being in love is the icing on the cake. It’s the supreme, most positive, strongest, deepest emotion in our lives.

Then, once married, the couple is told it’s all over for them. No more falling in love. From their wedding day until the day they die, for roughly fifty years, they can forget about the icing as well as the cake.

When you get married, you sign a capitulation, a waiver, whereby you relinquish the possibility of ever falling in love with another person.

Does this sound right to you? Or fair? Don’t we deserve to love and be loved more than once in a lifetime? Who said love was limited to one person? Monogamists believe that if I opened my heart to another person, it would be at the expense of my current love. In polyamory, however, love increases love. Positive emotions grow stronger and feed off one another, and not the opposite.

It would be one thing if monogamy actually worked, but the fact is that half of all marriages end in a divorce. How many of those that stay together cheat? A huge percentage. How many of those that remain sexually loyal still feel sexy, sensual, and hungry for their partner after a decade? How many are happy after twenty years? (Of the many couples I’ve known in my life, only my parents were so lucky.)

In short, our culture’s concept of married life is unexciting, not to say immoral.

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